I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.
Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.
The French couldn't hate us any more unless we helped 'em out in another war.
Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like.
Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.