The US is safest when Congress is in recess.

Americans are getting like a Ford car, they all have the same exact parts, the same upholstering and make exactly the same noises.

Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.

Congress is going to start tinkering with the Ten Commandments just as soon as they find someone in Washington who has read them.

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?

Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.

The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?'