Politicians are just a bunch of local bandits, sent by their local voters to raid the public treasury.

We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.

In politics practically everything you hear is scandal, and besides, the funny thing is that the things they are whispering ain't half has bad as the things they have been saying right out loud.

I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.

I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him 'father.'

If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you sell cheaper than him, that's mass production.

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.