The Republicans have a habit of having three bad years and one good one, and the good one always happens to be election years.

America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to a select few.

If you want to know when a war might be coming, you just watch the U.S. and see when it starts cutting down on its defenses. It's the surest barometer in the world.

When a fellow ain't got much mind, it don't take him long to make it up.

Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.

The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it.

Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.