Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.

In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time.

I bet any Sunday could be made as popular at church as Easter is if you made 'em fashion shows too. The audience is so busy looking at each other that the preacher just as well recite Gunga Din.

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.

Mothers are the only race of people that speak the same tongue. A mother in Manchuria could converse with a mother in Nebraska and never miss a word.