Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.

Every Gag I tell must be based on truth. No matter how much I may exaggerate it, it must have a certain amount of Truth.... Now Rumor travels Faster, but it don't stay put as long as Truth.

Now if there is one thing that we do worse than any other nation, it is try and manage somebody else's affairs.

The business of government is to keep the government out of business - that is, unless business needs government aid.

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.

I don't know how a lot of these nations existed as long as they have till we could get some of our people around and show 'em how to be good and pure like us.

If you want to be successful, love what you are doing.