I bet any Sunday could be made as popular at church as Easter is if you made 'em fashion shows too. The audience is so busy looking at each other that the preacher just as well recite Gunga Din.

The best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure one of them is a match.

Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it's not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago.

Will Rogers used to say he wouldn't run for president no matter how badly the country needed a comedian.

Ten men in our country could buy the whole world and ten million can't buy enough to eat.

The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.

What's considered enough money? Just a little bit more.