I bet any Sunday could be made as popular at church as Easter is if you made 'em fashion shows too. The audience is so busy looking at each other that the preacher just as well recite Gunga Din.

I never met a man that I didn't like.

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.

You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.

Syntax must be bad, having sin and tax in it.