I bet any Sunday could be made as popular at church as Easter is if you made 'em fashion shows too. The audience is so busy looking at each other that the preacher just as well recite Gunga Din.

Ignorance lies not in the things you don't know, but in the things you know that ain't so.

Originality will be rewarded in any line.

The French couldn't hate us any more unless we helped 'em out in another war.

A liberal is a man who wants to use his own ideas on things in preference to generations who he knows know more than he does.

You know, a Communist's whole life work is based on complaint of how everything is done.... So if they ever get their country running good they will defeat their own cause.

Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.