The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.

You can't tell what a man is like or what he is thinking when you are looking at him. You must get around behind him and see what he has been looking at.

Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction.

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.