If you count all your assets you always show a profit.
I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.
To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.
Women can instantly see through each other, and it's surprising how little they observe that's pleasant.
The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.