I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
My grammy never gave gifts, you know. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.
It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.
Dear Mom and Dad, Leave $50,000 in a bag under the bridge on Decatur Street. If there is no bridge on Decatur Street, please build one.
A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.
I'm going to my psychoanalyst one more year, then I'm going to Lourdes.