I don't own a computer. I've never seen anything online at all - nothing. I don't own a word processor. I have none of that stuff. It's not an act of rebellion. I'm just not a gadget person.

I'm very old-fashioned. I believe that people should stay married for life, like pigeons and Catholics.

Who's the bigger idiot, the idiot or the idiot who gets fooled by the idiot?

You use sex to express every emotion except love.

Don't think of death as an ending. Think of it as a really effective way of cutting down your expenses.

The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. I think that the worst thing you could say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. After all, you know, there are worse things in life than death.

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.