In a relationship, it is better to be the leaver than the leavee.

If you're not failing, you're not trying anything.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

Love may be the answer, but even though you're watching for the solution, intercourse raises some rather interesting thoughts.

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.

Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.

Throughout history in the theater and film people do like sarcastic characters, and they do like curmudgeons - if they're amusing, they do like them despite the fact that they're vitriolic, particularly if they're for the right thing. If you can see that the person is a decent person and is for the right thing, and is not just a nasty person with base motives, but someone who is a decent human but expresses himself.