I never thought I was doing anyone a favour by bringing children into the world. With people as cruel to each other as they are, it's a terrible proposition. The best of lives are sad and tragic. The best of them. My general conclusion is that it's not a nice thing to do. The world doesn't need it. The kid doesn't need it.

There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.

Sex is better than talk. Ask anybody in this bar. Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.

Usually, you hire people that you think are wonderful.

The chief problem about death ... is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought.

When I first started, there were writers that I looked up to that I felt very influenced by and very respectful toward their work and their opinion of my work.

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.