Years ago I was on television having a discussion with Billy Graham about atheism. He was saying, even if you're right and I'm wrong, and there's nothing after, I will have had a better life than you, because I do believe there was something. And I couldn't argue with that, even though I wanted to.

When it comes to sex there are certain things that should always be left unknown, and with my luck, they probably will be.

[An audience conditioned by a lifetime of television-watching is so corrupted that] their standards have been systematically lowered over the years. These guys sit in front of their sets and the gamma rays eat the white cells of their brains out!

Showing up is 80 percent of life.

Man was made in God`s image. Do you really think God has red hair and glasses?

The most important words in the English language are not 'I love you' but 'it's benign.'

It's funny. Maria Elena and I, we are meant for each other and not meant for each other, it's a contradiction.