I'm really a timid person - I was beaten up by Quakers

I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier.

When you write the script, you're home in a room by yourself, and you're writing, and there's no connection with the real performing world. So you get a lot of things wrong and make a lot of mistakes and make a lot of bad choices.

A "Bay Area Bisexual" told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.

I can't even make a leap of faith to believe in my own existence.

Well, trouble's my middle name. Actually, my middle name is Marion, but I don't want you spreading that around.

When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said rabies. She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets... I thought she'd been bitten by a Great Dane.