Well, trouble's my middle name. Actually, my middle name is Marion, but I don't want you spreading that around.
Woody AllenAll over the world, relationships between men and women are very, very tricky and very difficult and you don't learn anything. It's not an exact science, so you can't learn anything. You're always going by instinct and your instinct betrays you because you want what you want when you want it.
Woody AllenPale, nervous girls with black-rimmed glasses and blunt-cut hair lolled around on sofas, riffling Penguin Classics provocatively. [...] But it wasnโt just intellectual experiencesโthey were peddling emotional ones, too. For fifty bucks, I learned, you could โrelate without getting close.โ For a hundred, a girl would lend you her Bartok records, have dinner, and then let you watch while she had an anxiety attack.
Woody AllenMy mother never had time for me. When you're the middle child in a family of five million, you don't get any attention.
Woody AllenThere are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
Woody AllenThere is no advantage getting older. You don't get smarter, you don't get wiser, you don't get more mellow, you don't get more kindly, nothing good happens. Your back hurts more, you get more indigestion, your eyesight isn't as good, you need a hearing aid. It's a bad business getting old and I would advise you not to do it if you can avoid it. It doesn't have a romantic quality.
Woody Allen