I've always liked, someday the lamb will lay by the lion.... but it won't get much sleep.

In life, one is entitled to a side dish of either coleslaw or potato salad, and the choice must be made in terror, with the knowledge that not only is our time on earth limited but most kitchens close at ten.

I've never been satisfied or even pleased with a film that I've done. I make them, I'm finished, I've never looked at one after. I don't like them because there's a big gap between what you conceive in your mind when you're writing and you don't have to meet the test of reality. You're home, you write and it's funny and beautiful and romantic and dramatic, and then you have to show up on a cold morning, and you don't have enough of this and this goes wrong and you make the wrong choice on something and you screwed up and you can't go back.

The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5' 7", it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.

The only love that lasts is unrequited love.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

I've always been interested in being in other people's movies. I never get any offers.