I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

The chief problem about death ... is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought.

Love may be the answer, but even though you're watching for the solution, intercourse raises some rather interesting thoughts.

I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies.

You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak.

All my life is passing in front of my eyes. The worst part of it is I'm driving a used car.