I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

I never considered myself an artist. I aspire to be an artist, but I never thought I had the depth or substance or gift to be an artist. I do think I have some talent, but it doesn't go as far as being an artist.

Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people who can't remember where they leave things.

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I always feel the cynicism is reality with maybe an alternate spelling or something because I feel that I have real perspective on this particular issue of punishment in society.

He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.