Sex is better than talk. Ask anybody in this bar. Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.

No one ever wants the whole script. I give the whole script to people who require the whole script but to those people who don't require the whole script I don't give it to them and no one cares. They're relieved not to have to read extra pages that they're not in.

How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can-opener works.

If the [actors] are working, and I have a dinner engagement, I don't do 20 takes. I do five takes and go home. I want to go to dinner.

We knew the front door was always left open, but we broke in just to keep in practice. Doxy turned all the Washburn family photos to the wall so there wouldn't be any witnesses.

Reality may not be the best of all possible worlds, but it's still the only place where you can get a decent steak.

We stand at a crossroads. One path leads to despair, the other to destruction. Let's hope we make the right choice.