Cynicism is reality with an alternate spelling.

I'm very old-fashioned. I believe that people should stay married for life, like pigeons and Catholics.

As a boy, I was ashamed to wear glasses. I memorized the eye chart, and then on the test they asked essay questions.

There will be no major solution to the suffering of humanity until we reach some understanding of who we are, what the purpose of creation was, what happens after death. Until those questions are resolved we are caught.

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to.

I don't know what the hell I'm doing here. I'm 237 years old, I should be collecting social security.

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.