Cynicism is reality with an alternate spelling.

The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

If the [actors] are working, and I have a dinner engagement, I don't do 20 takes. I do five takes and go home. I want to go to dinner.

We stand at a crossroads. One path leads to despair, the other to destruction. Let's hope we make the right choice.

The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily laying down.

My ex-wife was a philosophy major at NYU. Yeah, she and I used to have deep philosophical discussions where she would prove that I didn't exist.

My father owned a small piece of land. He carried it with him wherever he went.