I can't express anger. I grow a tumor instead.

Manute Bol is so skinny they save money on road trips. They just fax him from city to city.

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.

I hate the beach. I hate the sun. I'm pale and I'm redheaded. I don't tan - I stroke!

Relationships are really what interest me the most. And I think, in the end, they interest most people the most. Even when you read Tolstoy or something, basically they're about man and woman relationships.

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.