Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.

Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you can play the piano.

When you travel around the country, you see what a tough town New York is: rude, competitive, a town where good, logical ideas are ignored in favor of unworkable ones. And yet, all these other towns are so dead and boring compared to New York.

Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love -- the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters.

Anything worth knowing cannot be understood by the human mind.

It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.