That’s one of the nice things about writing, or any art; if the thing’s real, it just lives.

If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.

I learned a few things on my own since, and modified some of the things he taught me, but everything, unequivocally, that I learned about comedy writing I learned from Danny Simon.

In the shower, with the hot water coming down, you've left the real world behind, and very frequently things open up for you. It's the change of venue, the unblocking the attempt to force the ideas that's crippling you when you're trying to write.

I've gained no wisdom, no insight, no mellowing. I would make all the same mistakes again, today.