I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.

Is old age really so terrible? Not if you've brushed your teeth faithfully.

I can't enjoy anything unless everybody is. If one guy is starving someplace, that puts a crimp in my evening.

I had an IQ test. The results came back negative.

I've often felt that life is a hard deal and it's unrelentingly tragic and an uphill fight.

"Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.

Your still searching for me in every woman. You'll always seek to duplicate what we had. You know it.