I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.

The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily laying down.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

I prefer the magic to reality, and have since I was 5 years old. Hopefully, I can continue to make films and constantly escape into them.

Paranoia is knowing all the facts.

I can't enjoy anything unless everybody is. If one guy is starving someplace, that puts a crimp in my evening.

There's nothing wrong with you that a little Prozac and a polo mallet can't cure.