I'm giving [my analyst] one more year--then I'm going to Lourdes.

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.

In order to be successful, all you've got to do is show up 80 percent of the time.

I sued American Apparel because they calculatingly took my name, my likeness and image and used them publicly to promote their business.

A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men. I have the strength of one small boy... with polio.

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to.

In every generation there are a few people who are authentically funny. The cosmetics change. You may not be able to articulate it, and you may laugh at them and get a certain amount of enjoyment. But when you're asleep at night, and you wake up at 3 in the morning, and you're alone in your bed, you know who's really funny.