Sex and death. Two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous.

He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.

In short, the best thing to do is behave in a manner befitting one's age. If you are sixteen or under, try not to go bald.

I want to return to the womb, anyone's.

We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

One man starving puts a crimp in my evening.