How wrong Emily Dickinson was! Hope is not "the thing with feathers." The thing with feathers has turned out to be my nephew. I must take him to a specialist in Zurich.

It's hard for me to know. I'll think, 'I really brought off my ideas, it's great,' and no one sparks to it

Do I believe in God? I did until Mother's accident. She fell on some meat loaf and it penetrated her spleen.

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

I wish my parents had raised me in Manhattan because I think it's the greatest thing you can do for a kid is to raise them in New York City. I can see this with my own children.

Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love -- the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters.