Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful; provided you get between the right man and the right woman.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment.

Geez, I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I'm never gonna get, and just enjoy it while it lasts.

The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5' 7", it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said rabies. She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets... I thought she'd been bitten by a Great Dane.

My father owned a small piece of land. He carried it with him wherever he went.