After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore.

A Russian Reversal quote on Uncyclopedia's Soviet Union article? How original.

In today's society we sometimes forget to balance our hearts and our heads; this is the reason we stop laughing.

In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!

I was a comedian in Russia, and I worked on the cruise ships there. I met a lot of Americans, and they were laughing even though I didn't speak their language.

In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you!

In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.