I came to America to make it my home, and I did.

In today's society we sometimes forget to balance our hearts and our heads; this is the reason we stop laughing.

We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.

In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!

In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you!

In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, The Party can always find you!

The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.