I came to America to make it my home, and I did.

In Soviet Russia, party always finds you!

Russian men have a saying: "Women are like buses..." That's it.

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.

I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.

In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.

Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.