I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!
How come it rains every Hall of Fame weekend? They need to move it to a different weekend.
A lot of guys go, 'Hey, Yog, say a Yogi-ism.' I tell 'em, 'I don't know any.' They want me to make one up. I don't make 'em up. I don't even know when I say it. They're the truth. And it is the truth. I don't know.
I'd find the fellow who lost it [million dollars], and, if he was poor, I'd return it.
Never answer an anonymous letter.
Even Napoleon had his Watergate.