Of course I don't use my A-material, it doesn't matter if they think I'm funny or not because they won't be thinking anything pretty soon anyways, if you caych my drift.

I mean, what's eleven million people now days?

My tears cure cancer too, it's just that I laugh at cancer patients.

I think a lot of people are drawn to seeing people that want to be better. We see it in ourselves.

It used to be that you came out of school, and you got married - those who were going to get married. But my peers are getting married in their early 30s, so now there's like this extra 10 years of that angst.

I'm sick of people saying I hate blacks, women, and gays. It's false and slanderous. Everyone who knows me knows I hate the Chinese.

I don't like the idea of drama schools. They only perpetuate the myth that everyone can do what I do