Once both gay marriage and marijuana are finally legal, those of you against them are not invited to the really fun parties I'm gonna throw.

Am I really gonna deny someone the opportunity of a lifetime just because they met me 5 easters early?

Somebody approached me about writing a biography on me, I told them they were too late.

People are always going to find fault with anything you do, any process that you're a part of. The creative process means taking risks, I've taken risks and I've made mistakes, but the bottom line is, could anyone else have done any better ? I have to believe that what I created was worthwhile.

I figure it this way - if a woman claims she didn't want me to fudge her, then you already know she's a liar. So what the hell's the point of a trial, y'know?

So for front-runners we have a black and a woman. It's like being made to choose between syphilis or having and old man crap on your face. I would do the country a favor and run myself but I couldn't deprive Hollywood of me for 4 years.

Turning water to wine? I mean c'mon, that's stupid. They should have let me write the bible.