Yea, he's alright...but he's no Zach Braff.

The greatest charity you can contribute to is yourself. Instead of spending a dollar to help feed hungry children, why not spend that dollar on hair gel so you can get the perfect cowlick?

Actually, I stopped looking at myself in the mirror years ago. I wasn't making it to work on time.

I don't know why people were so upset with me. Prince got his own symbol. I just wanted to adopt the handicap symbol as my own so I could park in handicap spots. Deformed people should be honored to park so close to me. Meeting a celebrity like me may give them hope in their mistake of a life.

I know that [Mike] Tyson talked about wanting to eat his opponent's children, but I don't think he ever had the balls to do it. I'm different - when I kidnapped Bill Lawrence's daughter, I cut off all of her fingers before sending my demands so that I wouldn't have to sit there and wait for him to ignore them. We worked things about about nine hours in, which is good because I ate her thumb as a midnight snack.

I think in a play it's wise to just sit back and watch other actors and be able to shape it from the audience.

People always tell me I should run for president, but I don't think they'd give me enough time off to make my films.