I don't like the idea of drama schools. They only perpetuate the myth that everyone can do what I do

I think I suffer from some mild depression.

Sure, they are the future of our world. Nike and Reebok need more factory workers every day.

I never looked at bread the same way again

I mean, so what if it's a little dangerous? A one-armed kid is comedy gold.

I'm not saying I hate Jews, I'm just saying that I think they shouldn't be alive any more.

Don't get me started on cold toilet seats.