I don't like the idea of drama schools. They only perpetuate the myth that everyone can do what I do

The biggest problem I had with starring in Scrubs were the black doctors. I just had to keep telling myself this show was satire.

I like to drop in on people who picked on me in high school or whatever, just out of the blue, and chat with them to see how they think of me now that I'm a big star. Usually they're a lot nicer. After about half an hour, I excuse myself to go to the bathroom, and leave a few DVDs or pictures there. Then when I come out, I say good-bye and leave. Then I call the cops.

The easiest way to lose something is to want it too badly.

Sure the jews killed jesus, but the guy was an awful carpenter

If a benevolent God exists, so does reincarnation. He wouldn't send me here just once.

I mean, what's eleven million people now days?