The only women I publicly date are those who have a higher IMDB rating than me.

I always wanted to direct movies. That's what I set out to do. When I was a little kid I just dreamed of making movies, and I went to film school [at Northwestern University].

You want to know the secret of my success? Let me tell you about eugenics.

I always encourage over-tipping if you can afford it because share the wealth.

I procrastinate so much and I get distracted by anything.

I wouldn't say I'm bigger than Jesus. If I had to guess, I'd say probably, yeah, but as far as I know, the bible is never clear on this.

My job as an actor has inspired generations of children to become doctors. My job as a writer has opened up the minds of millions. My job as a director has produced masterpieces that will be taught in film school for ages.