The only women I publicly date are those who have a higher IMDB rating than me.

My job as an actor has inspired generations of children to become doctors. My job as a writer has opened up the minds of millions. My job as a director has produced masterpieces that will be taught in film school for ages.

I guess sometimes God just needs to laugh

Well, you need to have at least one black friend, otherwise people think you're racist

That Hugh Laurie show is nothing but Scrubs fan fiction.

Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.

I have no desire to make money off musicians. I just want to promote them because I want to share music.