The only women I publicly date are those who have a higher IMDB rating than me.

It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.

I don't think it's a black and white issue. If a man's family is starving so to speak, I don't think I'll hold it against him for stealing a loaf of bread.

Yea, I've got a dream too. It involves time-travel and a rifle.

Yeah i thought about making the character of JD gay... But then i thought, but what about all the poor girls dreams you'll be crushing

She can't say no if she's unconscious.

Most people just aren't grateful for the lives they have, and it really saddens me. For instance, I said 'hello' to a man the other day, and he didn't even recognize me. It just really saddens me.