I just don't see how anyone can hate America. I mean, crap, I live there. What more do you need?

I'm not sure when or why the tabloid angle on me was decided that I am a cad. I would have much rather it had been that I am secretly a dentist or that I love soup.

That cyclone in Burma? That was just me doing the dance to that annoying ass song.

I mean, nobody's ever thrown a big rock at me or my friends, but we're all pretty tough guys and could probably handle it.

To say I live a cursed life is an understatement. I have to get up every day and work with people who are not as successful as me nor will they ever be as successful as me. Nobody knows the struggles I go through.

I don't get why arabs are so pissed off at us. I mean they have enough oil for all of them to drive a hummer at what, maybe 1.50 a gallon?

Yeah, the gay pride movement is precious and all, but I think it's about time we asked ourselves what gay people really have to offer to society.