One of the things I like about being a celebrity is that you can get away with murder. Not just metaphorically, literally. Remember that annoying blond dog reporter at E News used to talk smack about me? I paid two mobsters five million dollars each to throw her off the Stratosphere tower in Las Vegas.

I think a lot of people are drawn to seeing people that want to be better. We see it in ourselves.

I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.

The biggest problem I had with starring in Scrubs were the black doctors. I just had to keep telling myself this show was satire.

I'm not saying I hate Jews, I'm just saying that I think they shouldn't be alive any more.

Hitler was about population control.

Sure the jews killed jesus, but the guy was an awful carpenter