One time a reporter asked me what my worst quality was. I looked him in the eyes then punched him in the face. I kind of felt bad about it later, but he didn't need to be rude.

I'm not saying I hate Jews, I'm just saying that I think they shouldn't be alive any more.

Honestly, the only way Garden State could have been better was if I played every character. I'm awesome.

I've always preferred Marvel over DC. I just relate to their characters better. I mean look at Wolverine, at first he was just a bit player in an ensemble cast. Now he's the only reason people read X-Men. Just like me and Scrubs.

Sometimes, I go to Barnes & Noble with the sole intention of moving all copies of the bible to the fiction section.

I've always tried to learn from the greats: Orson Welles, Humphrey Bogart, Ghandi, Buddha, Jesus... it's just that there's this tremendous pressure to correct all the things they got wrong.

I just don't see how anyone can hate America. I mean, crap, I live there. What more do you need?