I donno, it's not impressive. Once I put ear plugs in and put a blind fold on for like 14 minutes and I did just fine.

I really don't give a care, I'm going to live for ever

You know, I think there should be a Zach Braff Day. We could have it on December 25th and then people can decide whether they want to celebrate me or Jesus. If you ask me, the choice is pretty obvious.

I mean, some people accuse me of being racist. I'm totally not, I'm just better than everybody else.

It's not that I think the Nazis were right, or anything. It's just that, we weren't there, we don't know.

It's not that I'm racist or anything, because I'm not, but I just don't think we should be wasting our time helping people that are going to die soon anyway.

Oh I love children, but I could never eat a whole one.