I'm not an hour late. You guys were just an hour early.

A kid came up to me the other day and said, 'Hey, you're the guy on Scrubs!' Kid, I am Scrubs, and don't you forget it.

A child's death is really of less value than an adult's. I mean, what could you really accomplish in a year? Not much, and that's not even talking about, you know, pay-wise.

Yea, he's alright...but he's no Zach Braff.

I think there are bound to be obstacles in any path to success. I mean, I'm Jewish, and there's nothing I can do about that. Instead of sitting around and feeling sorry for myself, I got over it and did something with my life.

Sometimes, I go to Barnes & Noble with the sole intention of moving all copies of the bible to the fiction section.

I'm kind of jealous of the life I'm supposedly leading.