I was stuck in traffic one day and just kinda thought it would be funny to masturbate. It was sunny and clear out, so I was worried one of the other drivers would see me, but my jeep is pretty high off the ground, so I think no one noticed. I busted a nut and aimed it down, ruining my tweety bird floor mat. I felt kinda stupid after and my mom kept silent the rest of the drive home. It was awkward and I regret it.

I don't like the idea of drama schools. They only perpetuate the myth that everyone can do what I do

Yeah i saw An Inconvenient Truth, and i dont want to say it was preachy but let's not kid ourselves, i've got far more important work to do

It's not that George Bush doesn't care about black people, god made hurricanes, not people who can't swim.

Complete garbage. It's like Garden State, but in outer space.

Probably the most memorable even of my life is when I was born. It really made me who I am. If I die, I hope to go out the same way I came in, but I don't think my mother would be into that.

Hitler had the right idea. He was just an underachiever.