I think the saddest moments in life have humor in them. I have a memory of coming home from a funeral with my family in the back of a limousine and someone cracking a joke and us just hysterically belly laughing. It's how we always dealt with tragedy in our lives and I think it's such a healthy way to deal with sadness.

Have I ever had sex with a hooker? I'd like to answer that question with a question of my own. Can just anyone look up police records?

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

It was really starting to get pathetic, everyday they would come in looking for one thing or another. 'Zach, can you give me some acting tips?' 'Zach, will you let me blow you?' 'Can I have some cash?' That's when I made the call, that's when I decided seven was enough

I really couldn't say how famous I really am, that's for the history books to decide. But I'll probably be pretty up there.

Hitler had the right idea. He was just an underachiever.

I don't have anything against this Jesus guy, but has he written, directed, and starred in his own movie?