It's... it's such a weird thing. After Garden State, so many companies wanted to make my movies, and after The Last Kiss, I realized people would make anything I was in. As long as I keep this up I'll be swimming in chubby indie girl pussy.

The greatest charity you can contribute to is yourself. Instead of spending a dollar to help feed hungry children, why not spend that dollar on hair gel so you can get the perfect cowlick?

Of course killing people is 'wrong', but I think history shows that sometimes it serves the greater good.

I like to drop in on people who picked on me in high school or whatever, just out of the blue, and chat with them to see how they think of me now that I'm a big star. Usually they're a lot nicer. After about half an hour, I excuse myself to go to the bathroom, and leave a few DVDs or pictures there. Then when I come out, I say good-bye and leave. Then I call the cops.

Sometimes I regret not being Catholic. I think I'd make a pretty good saint.

I've had to remove all mirrors from my home. I just can't seem to look at myself without having to buff the bishop, you know?

People have called me fake, but personally, I don't think I'm fake because I'm so insincere.