I like to drop in on people who picked on me in high school or whatever, just out of the blue, and chat with them to see how they think of me now that I'm a big star. Usually they're a lot nicer. After about half an hour, I excuse myself to go to the bathroom, and leave a few DVDs or pictures there. Then when I come out, I say good-bye and leave. Then I call the cops.

I don't even like the show that much, I mean, it's about doctors. It's not like doctors are as important as actors anyway, I bet I've saved more lives with my acting talent then any doctor has.

The Jews are just clumsy bakers.

Sure, they are the future of our world. Nike and Reebok need more factory workers every day.

I don't get why arabs are so pissed off at us. I mean they have enough oil for all of them to drive a hummer at what, maybe 1.50 a gallon?

If Democrats want to start winning elections in this country, they're going to have to start connecting with voters as well as I connect with my fans.

I don't want to be one of those guys, but Snape DOES kill Dumbledore.