I stand stark naked in front of the mirror and gaze directly into my own eyes. I utter 'Good morning, handsome' and my lips quiver as I stare at myown body. I don't break eye contact until I blow my load. Not once do I actually touch myself.

I really couldn't say how famous I really am, that's for the history books to decide. But I'll probably be pretty up there.

In theater or movies you see either 'I'm religious' or 'I'm an atheist.' I've never seen too much discussion of 'I believe there's a higher power but I'm hesitant to reach out to him because I don't know if I'm worthy of his attention.

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.

I like to think of myself as the Chris Benoit of the movie industry, capable of taking any picture and carrying it to box-office success. Take Garden State, without me that would have just been two hours of Portman doging.

I heard about the Dalai Lama, you know and I thought to myself, why not me?