Hitler had the right idea. He was just an underachiever.

I am really driven, but my drive doesn't effect the conversations I have in my head about life, and my worries and fears and insecurities.

The biggest problem I had with starring in Scrubs were the black doctors. I just had to keep telling myself this show was satire.

I'd never hit a woman unless I was already out of Viagra.

Im just not really attracted to black chicks.

I'm not saying eating babies should be legal, but when they're so delicious, what's the harm in it? I don't know what tastes better, their innocence or their gooey rib butter.

For me, acting in scenes with other people is like playing soccer with a bunch of legless five year olds. It's not really fair to them, but what else can I do, you know?