If a benevolent God exists, so does reincarnation. He wouldn't send me here just once.

I don't like the idea of drama schools. They only perpetuate the myth that everyone can do what I do

I'd like to think that my scripts are more significant than maybe the Bible or the book that the Jews use, whatever it's called. And that's only when I'm having an off day.

I could see why someone would want to make a website about me, and my quotes. They are all gold. How many people have written, directed AND starred in their own movies. I just don't know why they would want to put words into my mouth, I mean I did write, direct AND star in a critically acclaimed movie.

I never go easy on kids when I play board games. The sooner they learn what the consequence of entering a competition is, the better. If they win, I punch them in the face like any adult.

That cyclone in Burma? That was just me doing the dance to that annoying ass song.

What else could I tell them? I like my women like I like my whiskey: 12 years old and mixed up with coke.