It was really starting to get pathetic, everyday they would come in looking for one thing or another. 'Zach, can you give me some acting tips?' 'Zach, will you let me blow you?' 'Can I have some cash?' That's when I made the call, that's when I decided seven was enough

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

In April 1975 I was born and the Vietnam War ended. I could not let any American die in war before seeing an episode of Scrubs.

I don't think it's that bad, I mean, I love people following me around and helping me do stuff.

Of course I don't use my A-material, it doesn't matter if they think I'm funny or not because they won't be thinking anything pretty soon anyways, if you caych my drift.

Yea, I had a dream too. Looks like mine came true.

I'm not lazy, I drive everywhere myself, the dog could've learned something from me.