It was really starting to get pathetic, everyday they would come in looking for one thing or another. 'Zach, can you give me some acting tips?' 'Zach, will you let me blow you?' 'Can I have some cash?' That's when I made the call, that's when I decided seven was enough

I blame Walt Disney; well he has to find voice actors better than me somehow doesn't he?

Well, I'm not saying that America is a bad place or anything. I just think 9/11 needed to happen sooner or later.

You know I was just taking a dump one day, and then as I sat there I realized, I really do deserve better.

Dude, writing, acting and directing are such easy jobs. But to do them all as awesomely as Zach Braff does, well that... that's something.

Everyone has an idea that they think would be a great movie. Everyone has a cousin who they think you should work with.

Yea, he's alright...but he's no Zach Braff.