If we've learned anything, it's that the combination of yellow smiley faces and blue polyester vests are irresistible to the inbred.

I'm not gay, but I'm still the kind of guy where, even though you have no chance, they still want to hang around me so you can get a good mental image and jerk off to me later.

I really don't give a care, I'm going to live for ever

It's not terrible, I guess, but if Ricky Gervais was half as talented as me, maybe the show would actually be funny once in a while.

Complete garbage. It's like Garden State, but in outer space.

When I think about the holidays, I think about the Salvation Army guys ringing bells in front of stores. They're always so nice to you and they're always willing to give a heart to heart conversation. They actually bear the winter cold to ask for your petty cash with a smile on their face. Fudge those guys.

She can't say no if she's unconscious.