Actually, I used to be a busboy in a strip joint in New York and so I hate strip joints. I'm not that kind of person.

I wish I could sit back and say, 'Oh, I'm gonna wait for a Merchant-Ivory film to come my way. Or Ivory-Merchant. Whatever it's called. But you just take what's given and then, hopefully, down the road you can be more choosy and only do, say, Wayans brothers movies. That's my goal: to be more Merchant-Ivory-Wayans.

I wonder if in 2050 there will be a movie called, 'Dude, Where's My Spaceship'

The congressmen and senators used to go have a drink in D.C. They would disagree all day long, but they would find that time to sit down and learn about each other personally. I think that's totally wiped out; I don't think it really exists anymore.

I'm writing a book about Siamese Twins that are attached at the nose. It's called: Stop Staring at Me!

I live in Los Angeles and I had been drinking one night, so I was on the walk of fame and I saw Tony Danza's star and I started urinating on it. Just yelling out, 'Who's the boss now?'

At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?