Actually, I used to be a busboy in a strip joint in New York and so I hate strip joints. I'm not that kind of person.

I just could just shave my beard, and nobody would recognize me. Although I look like Jodie Foster.

I've been happily dedicated to the same woman for a number of years. I never even look at other women.

Have you seen that show on CBS called 'The Amazing Race'? Is that show about white people?

I am going to be the next Ryan Gosling.

When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese.

I don't mean to be gross, but the only time it's good to yell "I have diarrhea" is when you're playing Scrabble because it's worth a shitload of points.