You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.

I don't like cursing in movies. I feel like cursing has become the new hackiness. You try to find substitutions for cursing.

Actually, I used to be a busboy in a strip joint in New York and so I hate strip joints. I'm not that kind of person.

I dream of starting a three-man country trio called the Chixie Dicks.

I like characters that are fragile and a little bit on the edge .

You know how some people have gay-dar? I have fat-dar. I can automatically tell if you're fat or not. And I also have cerebral-palsy-dar.

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.